What is wrong with your personal opinion?

by Kate Abraham

Modern life might be rather confusing especially for some individuals. On the one hand, we are encouraged to express our opinions freely and accept ourselves the way we are. Just check any of the trainings for personal or professional growth and you will hear how it is important to have your own opinion of any situation in order to be successful. On the other hand, the world full of topics which should not even be mentioned otherwise we can be viewed as politically incorrect or just impolite and mean. On top of that, being careful with the feelings of others makes some people feel as being dishonest and flattering. Some individuals will prefer talking to a mean and honest person rather than to the one who just pretends to be so friendly and carrying.

Let’s try to understand what really can be done if we want to express our opinion and when it should really be expressed.

The situations in which your opinion counts

There is an entire range of situations in which it is better to express your personal opinion rather than hiding it. Actually, many people tend to keep silence in such situations even though normally the love telling whatever they think.

These situations are various public discussions of important issues concerning large groups of people. Needless to say many people are afraid to participate in such discussions. Indeed, they can be rather unpleasant if you try to convince others in being right. Yet, you can just express your opinion for the sake of showing people there is such a view as well. This can be particularly useful for the people who do not understand the topic thus good and they are searching for the information. Seeing there is such a person as you with such an opinion might have a great impact on their opinion which sometimes can be pretty serious. This is the way a so-called public opinion is being created.

When do people tend to express their opinions?

As we have already mentioned, in the situations described in the previous part, people tend to be silent and not share their ideas. Yet, when it comes to discussing others, many people are really ready to do it. No matter what is the feature which make you different from others, the fact it is different will make you a subject of discussions. Quite usually such discussions will happen straight in front of you.

It is crucial to understand that your reaction to something new and untypical, albeit might seem normal, should not be expressed publicly. Children can express themselves in such ways commenting other people because they still haven’t developed a required level of empathy and understanding of social situations. Yet, you are an adult and you just cannot behave like this criticising others for something which actually does not harm anyone.

As you can imagine, not all of your thoughts about others have to be told to others. Pay your attention to the fact that it concerns not only negative opinions about others but also positive ones. Even when you are telling something good about others, you should be very careful about that because it might be an indication of your approval. In all likelihood, other people do not need your approval at all. An approval indicates that even though you find something about a person good, you still are better than this person and you know better how she or he should live.

The things which you absolutely never should comment

Here you have some of the subjects which cannot be commented no matter how much you do not like them about other people. It is true not only for direct conversations with these people but also for talking about people behind their back.

Undeniably, one of the things you should never comment is the appearance of a person. Even if you might notice a person is not happy about one’s own appearance as well. This does not mean you have a right to judge this individual or give him or her your recommendations  or suggestions. The only situation in which you can share these things with someone is when this person oneself is asking you about help.

This is true for weight, height, style and anything connected to the appearance. The age of a person is also the topic which does not require any comments from your side. Again, if only a person oneself asks you about some recommendations, you can share them.

It is also true for various issues concerning the personal preferences. Of course, it does not mean you cannot have your own opinion on various topics. It is normal that you have one. You just should learn to assess the situation before you start speaking. Ask yourself whether an issue is affecting you. For example, your friend has just finished remodeling of his flat and you do not like the way it looks. As you can imagine, this is none of your business. Yet, if you see your friend has remodeled the flat in the way violating the architectural requirements for that apartment building, you can share your idea about that.

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